♥Only Me♥

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I wish...

This sunday, suppose is go find you.. Now all hope shatters. I wished to hug you and say some heart felt words de... And something else..

Maybe i just say here le...

(If i'm hugging you, i want to say this is the first time i really hugs you, you can bring me peace)

Joseph.. this is the very first time i called your name out.. And i will call you this from the very next time i see you le. Only will use Joe when needs to use shortcuts... Bleh..

Joseph.. Sorry and i loved you once..

Joseph.. Sorry to makes you suffer that stuck inbetween..

Joseph.. Sorry for what i ever says makes you angry and frowned..

Joseph.. Sorry for everything i had did..

Joseph.. I really wish everything can go back to the start..

Joseph.. Sorry for not listen to your true heart feel.

Joseph.. Sorry to force you..

Joseph.. Sorry that i had never be honest to myself to tell you my truth words...

Joseph.. Sorry that i'm unable to send you the message in my heart and i'm unable to receives yours.

Joseph.. Sorry.. Really sorry. I really wished to go up your house this sunday de.. Got things i wished to ask from you from the very first and only time.. But no more can say it le..

Joseph.. Sorry.. At this point i know i can't 'truely' bless you. But i really wish you are happy and blessed.

Joseph... If you would had says you would't want to take back the money maybe i will had listen to it. Just that it's scorpio's habit.. Don't like/wish to owe anything ba. Not say i want to make things so bad/worst de.

Joseph... Maybe certain things should say out never say but if you never say out of course i will also not saying out..

Joseph... Why didn't you speak your true heart earlier to me.. You say it out when i'm very sad about the funernal and when i had sunk into deep water of yours.

Joseph.. Even now that i now your MSN puts "happily attached" is to show it to me but i still can't get over it so fast lah..

Joseph.. Ai wu ji wu and Ai is a different things... You should know it de. But i'm telling you that i really likes you alot. I don't know why. But i really like. No matter you're sad, happy, down i also wish i can share the bundle/joy.

Joseph... If you don't want to care about me le, you should not had say you still wan be friends and the concern/care for me will still be the same. And yet you don't want to reply me le. You know how sad it is?

Jospeh... I really thinks that you're the one for me. Thus, i say i will wait no matter how long it takes. The words still counted til now but 3years later leh? Maybe still will ba? Or maybe not.

Joseph.. I still wanna says this before de.. If 3years later.. We both not married to anyone yet. Will we get married?

(Ya.. In my dream...)

If only i can turn the time back... I wish i had never remembered who are you, perhaps...

If i can choose, i wish i can die now.

Well, actually from the very first day you bring her to your house can guess abit de la. . . Just i want to trust you. Hais. Now then tell me all the 'truth' i think even more ba? How to get back to my life/concentrate on my work?

Really don't know how long then will get back to my track le..

I also don't get it why when you both if know the truth le, still want hides it. Hais. If only say earlier, confirm earlier i will not be like what i'm now le ba?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Lies...

Don't know why.. From the day my ah ma passed away plus you leave me,i feel so empty. Maybe because no longer receives your sms-es and no more chatting at night before you sleep/after i knock off from work and reach home. No longer will see you on MSN as you had let my sis use the com and you are avoiding to see my MSN "sad" title. >.<

Been chatting on MSN with Jovin recently =_= no choice, entertain him. And i happen to know that, from the very starts, she lied to Joseph... About she got work as a "Flyer Distributor".. Stand along MRT stations that kind or what. Well, when i first heard that she is doing this so-called "Part-Time" job, i actually wonder will she do this kind of job??? But no choice ba, she what situation. Maybe really doing that job. No one knows. But Jovin says she doesn't even work. Hais, yea no point he lying now also. But well... Even if it's real, what's the use? Tell Joseph?? Tell him for what? He will believe ma? He will only say he don't care whether she lied about that anot le ba. That matter is over le...

Everything is over now, but i just can't stop thinking NONSENSE! Keep thinking why i had say all those and did all that?? How come i can do all this? How come i just can't be honest to myself more? How come i never tell him the words in my heart? How come we are unable to receives each other feel and thought? Maybe because we unable to SMS and chat on phone much from the day she stays over at your place ba.. Ya, it's me say better contact lesser when you home etc? But if you two sleep different place, you can actually call me up de. But you're lazy to explain all this.. Or don't wish to explain.

I really trust you de. But i just can't stop thinking that you everyday can talk to her and maybe sort things out and share your whatever joy of the day to her. But i can't... From your 5th refresher course onwards... I had never heard you say anything from it le. Not like the first few times. Whenever you end it le, you will call me up and share me what happened during your refresher course and what's so funny over it.

Seriously, i'm not sure what i want at all.... Currently maybe want you most ba?

Last Friday, 23rd Oct 2009. After end work le, i straight away gone to bed when i had reached home, change clothes and brain still keep thinking of you... 7+ i wokeup.. i decided to ask whether dad is free to give me a ride go down to hositpital from body checkup and suddenly i starts to cry.. Not sure why.

I keep cry and cry badly can tahan the tears from coming out. He never heard i say body checkup thou, so he just gave me some money and ATM, take cab go down TTSH and see doctor. Spend about 3hours there. It's around 12MN when i discharge from TTSH.... Not even a single car i can found on the road... I walk and walk til i nearly reaches big road. Once cab horn me, as i was walking along the double yellow lines. Broad the cab before 12MN.. Reach home eat porridge.

And starts to feel better.. Next year had to go back TTSH again.

Had told some friends about it included him. As it might be slight depression.
But you doesn't seems to care about me so much or even a single concern... And it makes me wonder whether it is you that replies me.

Today, 27th Oct 2009. 3hours 41mins to 3days you had not replied for my message saying "Anw, wb. How's fishing? N rmb wat i ask for next wk" Why don't you reply to this... I just want to concern or ask about how's fishing. Or you actually call it off and went chalet with her? I believe you wouldn't give up fishing lor.

Hais, about 4days more to go before i will sms you ba. I wish i can tell you about what i know from him. But mostly you will not buy in ba.

Life is cruel. Especially to me? All i got is my dad.... And some close friends.

Maybe all is fate la. Fate makes me had to work Full Shift on the day suppose we meet up. Became the two of you meet up only. And makes me keep feel so uneasy.. And since when you likes her back i also don't know... "So fat lo, fat until so ugly.. I don't even know why i last time like her" this sentence.. I keep thinking now... Whether you say from your truth heart or it is really like what Michelle says "ALL EXCUSES"

But i do believe it is more to your truth words. But is it the first day meet up le and like her back? And scare to tell me? Or scare i know? Hais.... You 2 chat on the phoe few days before meet up. From that day onwards maybe already likes her back le and so happy to able meet her alone on Sunday.. Chatted so long hours from the past til present. I really don't what the hell i'm doing.

Somehow yes i push you two together. That's because i feel you heart likes her more? Or i feel like i'm extra? If you don't want be with her, i push also no use right? hahaha Stupid =_= Speak rubbish again. Aiya end here la...

Not saying if i never push you will go with me, just can't bear to see you suffer. I suffer alone enough le ba. =) Well.. You just can't get my meaning i guess. Neither i had tried to listen to yours perhaps. Hope everything can turns back. I really wish it can... All start over again.

Need to learn to relax, to be honest to myself, my heart and to others. Need to learn to be more and more patient for all this kind of things. Just not sure why this time i can't torlerate? Stress ba. Also too/quite straight-forward kills myself..

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

if..

If i dies in this year. my only regret is i nv had told u want i really wish from u and i nv had really listen to u. nv had really understands wat u had wanted. and now i had made u pek chek n made up a choice. Im sad but somehow i had to be glad. But i m really sad la. I dun wan let go de. but i guyi wan make tings gone crazy but u dun believe it. hais... and i want to tel u this very 1st time. LOL i love u =S My last regret will be dies b4 my dad ba.

Seriously i think i like u alot. but no more turning back le. Im oways like this. make it worse le den regret abt it. no matter had i explain oso no use le ba. U 2 is tgt le. i nv get any bless b4. only bless is my dad ba. How i wish somehow i m her that can slp beside u. LOL u say b4 stayover night there n ur room doesnt looks good as it is a rental hse. but she stay there. anw is ur gf, thats y u oso dun really care abt wat wat rental hse not le ba. and dun wan her slp w maid oso le. hais. wat m i thinking. y i cant let go. y i cant 4get. WHY.... Brain is full of u.. Not i dun wan be frens but..

So Sad

So much things happened last week + this week...

1st is my ah ma passed away on 16oct... 2nd is... i lost 2 love ones..

I seriously duno whether i had fallen in love with you. But i think of you more than another people even at work. I wondering what you doing. Will sms me not.. How's you day. Even til now...

I always wonder whether is it i owe my sis her past life. So this life i had to suffer so much. God put her to be my sis and make me suffer. I always think of this.. Im not sure whether he is love her alot of what. But i do believe he love me once.

Starting my words all is too harsh ba. Maybe im angry thats's why i say out what i dun feel good in. But i somehow regrets it. I tried to put it back la. Today got a new job. I been thinking of him while i was working. After some thinking i realise maybe i know what you're doing. Maybe i had understands it le. I let go of my hands because i got no choice no matter how much i wish to holdon to it..

Now for what i feels that i think i can understand what you're thinking le, i feel like holding on again le. I will wait... But i stil can't get myself out of the sorrow. Ah ma, i hope u can bring away this sorrow of mine. I m utterly sad. I duno why. Maybe i felt stress Maybe i m suffering depression. I loss my appetite for days le. Or maybe even 1 week le. I eat less and lesser and now never eat. Lol. Sorry make frens that is reading it sad for me?

Maybe pity me or what as well. Hais. You're no longer concern about me since yesterday ba, When i oso got say abt i start new job tdy. u nv ask wat job etc. And... hais duno want say wat le..

When you say, "i pick her, at least for now. future no1 knows." I do regret that i say alot nonsense like get married with her, tat is my wish <- i think of this b4.. Coz its the best for her ba.. And say other nonsense as well ... maybe i had hurt u. when u say, farwell etc, maybe i will be ur xiao mei. I felt sad. But i duno "i pick her, at least for now" this words is hiding something in ma. Now i guess maybe got.. Well i need to try to walk out of my sorrow.. I had never think of someone so much and sad over it so long. Maybe coz ah ma passed away as well, My heart cant take it. Maybe i really fallen in love with u. Hope to see you after u return from msian ba. I m sry for what i say in a harsh way like " dun need call le" But i do get quite angry when i told u i reach 4-5pm but u say i told u 430pm... I oso got sms u saying i reaching boonlay. so u can prepare to come mit me. But u say hp will oways be with u. endup oso put inside ur bag or hers and nv saw my msg. Quite sad and angry at that point. I saw ur backview while i board the escalator. I really cant bear to leave u. I duno how long will it take for me to walk out of this sorrow.. I guess it will take very long.. I duno ur heart ever loves me before or just like me or just something like replacement or just like u say de more den a fren less den a gf. Mistress ba i guess. HAHAHAHAHA

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Title of Song to be my message

This post will be using different songs to say what i'm trying to say... I'm sorry if any of the people mention below reads this. I'll not remove it. I'll not longer listen to your words for what you comment for my blog. This blog entry will say this following Four people : Joseph, Candy, Jovin and Minru...

"Long time no see" is our start.

"Spiderwebs" is what the four of us is in now.

"Don't speak" is what Minru don't wish to hear.

"Free and Easy" is what we needs.

Jovin wish to be Candy's "Boyfriend"

Candy is like a "Super Girl" to Jovin?

Life is just like a "Battlefield"

"Better Man" is what Joseph wish to be?

"Nobody" is what Candy wish to tell Joseph.

"Lucky" is what Candy's situation now.

Minru wish to do her "Crying in the rain" Maybe same goes to Jovin.

When you feel heart aches, can only say that it does not "Breakeven"

"Without your love", Minru believes that she still can live on.

"Sorry Sorry" is what the four of us wish to say to each other.

"Yes I Love You", is what Joseph wants to tell Candy?

Minru do all this is just "For You"

"Given up", is what Minru and Jovin had to do!

You will always be Minru's "Dearest" friend.

Maybe "Give me Baby one more time" is what Joseph wants to voice out.

"Bye Bye Bye" is what Minru and Jovin had to tell them.

Thank You and all the best to all the above people.

Thank You for everything.

Minru will paid back what she owes any of you.

"Because of you" Minru tries to change herself~

Monday, October 12, 2009

No Comments

I'm utterly Sad.... Just Acia called me up and tell me that the $399 that i pack yesterday short of $14.35. What the fuck is this? Which fucker took a piece of $10 out from the stack? I remember i kept 2 x stack or $10 = $200. 2 x stack of $50 = $100. So is $300 le what..

ONE pack of $1 = $50, Next 9 Bucks is $2 of 5CENTS. And 7 dollars is mixture of 20CENTS & 10CENTS. $399 LE WHAT! Mother FUCKER... I chatting with WenQi since i saw her online. And i tell her about what happened. And i say go this "You think they so good? Of course i had to paid it" China is Bastards... Not to all... Just some or most of them at Just Acia ba.... They're quite fake sometimes...

Hais... Spare $ is to spend on this shit things. Must be that SHA used $14 from the stacks of $ without telling me.... Or is the customers that left de amount.. Hais Nevermind

New post. lol...

I went to view some of my old post entry. And i realise i had wrote so much life stuff. I know i wrote alot things regrading my life during those days.. But somehow i had forgotten i once wrote that "True love isn't easy nor hard to find. It's just that the time is not right yet. For me, the time will never get right."

Now i can say this is a truth on me! The time will never be right... Just like the situation i'm in now. Whatever. I end it here and continue reading my old old post ba...

I HATE THIS FUCKING SHIT!!!!!

Today, Sunday, 11/10/2009 Worried and Confused Day. Sunny and Stuffy Day.

Today i actually should starts work at 5pm de. But because yi(ee) rong went to East Coast there for bicycle riding and don't know got into what kind of accident so she can't make it to work on this weekends. I don't feel like working on Saturday so i lie to them that i meeting my friends le. Because they confirm will ask why i never go out don't want go out. I'm quite sick of this question when they ask me. We don't want work means don't want work.. Why you must ask why we not going to work since we got nothing on and will slack/rot at home... It's some kind of dumb question you know...

So i go work at 12pm today. In the morning got message my friend say today weather so hot. But they bo reply. So nevermind la. Start work le... 430pm break til 530pm. Inbetween i got SMS Joseph and my sis as they today got meetup. And as my Manager got ask about my sis want find full-time or part-time job, Cashier ok for her anot. So i asked her during my break. And also told her about a Account Admin post. But she only reply me a "ok np" so i reply to her and ask her something again. Never reply le. Fine.. Think is she can anytime any day start work de ba. So no need reply also ok la...

At certain time... My heart suddenly felt that i'm worried of them. I do not know why. Maybe because that time i'm quite free. And i go SMS them lo since i quite free la. Well they both got reply once each. And then after i knock off frm work.. I been thinking what did i had replied Joseph. I just can't recall. So i SMS-ED him saying i was thinking i just now replied him what i can't remembers it yet. And how's looking for house for my sis? Well well... Never reply. Fine i take it as your handphone no battery liao. So i don't intend to message to another handphone cause it's pointless =D You guys got your reason for not replying straight and maybe or i guess i can guess why?

OH YA I MISSED ONE THING.

At 10+, her bf got called me and asked about whether i'm with her. But i told him that suppose got meet them, but i last minute had to work full shift so i never meet them up. And he say ok thx and hangup le lo.

So i got sms both of them at different timing saying about her bf got called me up. And both bo reply again. LOL About at least 30mins later she reply me that she is "prawning". And i say about her bf is worried or what when she replies that he is "spot-checking" on her... And "nvm ba"

So i reached home at least 1130pm le ba. He online at about 12am ba. So he come msn me. Say about what i totally can't remember although it's only about 2hrs ago de things... I only remember about the word "prawning"

And then he called me lo, i asked where they go. As while i'm still working and on my way taking MRT home i also got SMS another friend. SMS her outing with WM today and what i been thinking today when i'm working. So she suddenly remembers that she "saw" my sis and a guy sitting close. And the woman ......

I just wondering la... Will they take bus meh. lolx. But i also got asked where they go shop shop around today, and told them the thing that my friend say she saw. So he say can't be as the timing like clash. HAHAHAHA

AIYA WHATEVER LA DUH

While i was on the train, maybe i didn't stretch my back well. And i felt my back ach-ing... And the leg got "Feng Mo" so quite itchy sometimes... So i talk on phone was abit pissed. And i'm quite tired actually. Yesterday never sleep well at all. Sleep awhile wake up awhile. Hais. So i say i want sleep le. He don't believe and say i got sleep so early de meh.. And he asked about my MSN nick. So i saying the chess piece is about i never go see doctor for my leg problem la. Aiyo..

Don't believe again. So i saying whether want me to webcam show it. Then he/they ask what happened =_=

Actually i'm not scare you will read my blog. As since i don't even know where the hell you found it... You just don't want to say it. So i'll not ask further. Michelle says use google might can found it. LOL

Another thing about i'm not going to chat on phone is because i don't feel like/uncomfortable. And my sis is around, you should accompany her NOT me. Got you chat with me not also not really a must.

I'm just trying to say that... You should concentrate on her. And i should learn to be strong. Be no longer soft-hearted. I seriously hate this world. Or all i hate is my life. But i love the friends i got in my life. Except one.

I suppose to be on bed now... I keep thinking of NONSENSE. LOOK IT'S NONSENSE! And i felt that i feel like blogging. So i turn on my computer again and starts to blog.

Oh ya the story haven't finish right =_= So 6+ they already in his house. Then 7+ ba another friend reach there to find house for her. And now he should be back to his own house. And so left they two in that room. He once says that let other people stay there doesn't looks good as is a rental house also. Not saying i trying to HINT WHAT LA.

I just saying.. Dam... I don't know say what.. Just no comments ba. I been hinting you i will choose to leave i guess. Or i just don't dare to say out from my mouth. But...... i once told myself that i guess i'll not be the one saying i want to leave. But... Now my "arrow" seems to be turning back to what i had been think on Saturday.

DUH DAM IT DAM IT DAM IT

I hate this man(Not refering to i hate you).. I'm sitting infront of my computer without fans on and i'm sweating. lol

I hate the thing in the world called L.O.V.E i had never wants to try it or believe in it. I tried to believe it on you! BUT i still find that i can't trust the word much. As i still believe in myself more ba. I guess...

Just don't know what's running in my brain now. Maybe is grass.

I also doubt you will read all. As you mention before you just briefly reads it =)

I'm so sorry to my friends that reads on my blog once in awhile or checking whether i got update not... I don't wanna put it under my MSN nick le. Confirm people will ask what is the link. Maybe i should change it to only i can reads it. Hahahaha

Nah... I'm typing out what i want to say in my heart now ba. Not full but maybe at least 1/3 ba... That's why i got a blog at the first place? For venting...

I trying to to vent on my friends. As when i'm pissed, my tone is bad. Even online.

But BUT i seriously abit don't want to let go nia ba. So means i should let it go. Why hold on when things shouldn't be your. I quite find that our start is a wrong. I can't tell you why.. It's just my feeling. My heart and my eyes been crying for the time when i feel hurts. I don't like it. I may not cried badly but the tears just drop down by itself slowly.

Just like the worried feel i got it today. I keep tell myself don't be silly la. Siao, they confirm looking around at houses now. But in the evening le got people see house de meh. I got think of this but i never ask or because i'm just too busy at that moment to ask or just can't be bother. OR is i choose to believe in you. But maybe i'm wrong. Why Why Why? Can you even tell me WHY YOU ONLY SAY THAT SHE IS AT THERE WHEN YOU GOT HOME AND ONLINE?

Not i can't SMS during my working time. Is just reply slow. I seriously DON'T KNOW HOW BUSY YOU TWO WERE FOR NOT EVEN THE f**king hell to reply a simple MESSAGE. fuck it. I had never say this kind of words in blog since after the Zouk things. I just need to vent it. Luckily i off on Mon. I decided not to SMS you. I can tahan it. Just like on Saturday i know i had made him angry so i never SMS again. For the whole day. I though of SMS-ing him but i called it off. No point explaining/saying so much.

I told Michelle this things she replies me that the more we SMS she get more angry or is pissed ba. As she also can't get what is on his mind. And i should leave and don't give a dam. I just don't want things to be in a SHIT MESS.

I want everything to turn out good and peace. So you two together is the good. And i leave is the peace. Ain't you think so? It's the perfect way to made none of us sad. Maybe i will la... But not for long. I'm quite Happy-Go-Lucky.. maybe... maybe...

My friend says i'm just a replacement. Sometimes i think this way. Not because of my friend nor him. This thinking always in my mind. I got one Manager once stead with another colleague. We were called his 1-4th wife while we're working together. Got keep in touch sometimes after we never work together le. And they break up one day, so he asked me to be his GF. At the very point i rejected as i'm sure i'm just a replacement. And i don't like him at all infact sometimes hate..

CRAP... I TURN THOSE PAST OUT AGAIN.

Shit la.... Never ending post... Today at work is not bad just that Shaun or Shawn. Still can't keep the counter well... I had to keep up all shit mess. Should had let me stand there since 12pm de lo...

Minru, don't think so much le. You and You also.

Minru is just here to vent... You don't have to care so much or ask me so much.

Just like you say de, everything also no need to tell so detailed ba. Or no need to say everything ba. I don't know you well this is all i can say. The you now and the past changes how much i'm not sure just that i still trusted you. The you now is how i can't catch it yet. It's maybe same as what you says. I only see the surface, i don't know you well. Or we don't know each other well. Fuck la. Neverending words again.zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Just let everything go, minru. You're old and mature enough to think well.

(Yea maybe..)

But it's true that you two together is the best la. I'll give you guys all my bless for my whole life. As i only need bless at work. I just seriously don't know what is L.O.V.E ba so i'm there to made myself suffer now?

Basically you should be quite clear what you want. Just that your other "soul" is trying to tell you another things. I believe you want to be with her. So i want to step down. But you're currently stuck in here. If i step down is good for you. You will not suffer and confused anymore.

And i believe, even you say i'm a good woman/girl. I believe i will not be a good wife. The opposite of you.

Now i maybe had to plan what to say the next day to you. I just can't think of a proper way of words to say.... I scare i scare i scare!!! I scare my heart can't control and force my tears out. If tears started to drop, the way i talk will be more and more can know that my tears is dropping down.

I don't want this to happens. I don't want you to heard it and felt guilty and heart aches as well... IT'S NOT WORTH LA....

Crap i better stop it. If not i say until 6am also haven't stop. LOL

Did you guys enjoy your day today? I guess they got... Cause no full details had been told. Enjoy the rest of your life as well together.

May you two happily marry everyafter. BAI TOU DAO LAO~~~~

Me?? Gu Du Zhong Lao. LOL NO! Is Ying Nian Zhao Shi.

I only wish to live until max 50+ Maybe i shall retired at around 40 as well. The amount of $ i kept until insurance i wonder can last me ma~

Woot SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP~ TOMORROW SEE DOCTOR~ Spare $ to be spend on this i'm quite sad... Even dad ask got $ ma i ofcourse will say got. The reason i don't wish to go see doctor also because of the medical fee.... Well who ask me this few years badluck. No one to blame. HEI HEI HEI

Nights all.... Sorry all.... Sorry Him and Her... And lastly. Sorry.. Heart...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Words to say for my last post...

Seriously i don't know what's on our mind now. Especially her i guess...

Nothing is wrong between us but the fate seems to be playing us around? Or our fate? Or life.

I do hope you and you found a good partner to live on... But.... Hais don't know what to say. NO COMMENTS

Hopefully everythings turn out to be peace and good. With no one hurts. I don't wanna hurt any of you. I wish.... Maybe i wish.... That everything doesn't happens this way?

Rubbish Topic

I guess i should put everything back to what it is from the start. When certain things that does not belongs to you will never be yours. Thus, i should not hold back the things that shouldn't and does not belongs to me anymore. It's time for me to go back to my working track. Not longer slacking and play around/PS3.

Buried myself in work is the best way to kill my time. Althought will get lesser time to spend and chat with my friends but this is what our life should be at the very first point.

Me and you got not much topic to share about while you and her does got more. I'm just hereby to say that you don't belongs to me. You belongs or she belongs to your heart. She is/has the key to your heart =) While i'm just there to keepsafe the key.

Blessed.

I guess i'm not going for any further studies anymore. I think my heart wasn't there at all either. Maybe i just want to work and earn some income just to survive. If time allowed, i would had taken more then just one job. To keep myself busy at work. Since i'm quite this kind of person. Except killing my time at work, the other is spend whole day with my friends chatting, gathering etc

At work, there may be happy, angry and sad days but it will all end after the day ends. Next day will be another brand new day. Never keep the past too much.

I had to learn to overcome with all kinds of situtaions. A way to protect my heart, my mind. I guess i'm just too soft-hearted. That's what Michelle had been always saying between us. We both is just too soft-hearted to let people anyhow step us. We help people work and they doesn't seem to be apprectiate much. Maybe that's the reason why we are so close and chatty.

I seriously don't know what my heart or i'm searching for. Even myself can't tell what i searching for so don't expect you will know.

Whoever that is reading this post.. Don't come ask me what happened. lol

Just use your imaginary to think ba..

Most of the things never goes smoothly. It needs to go thru alot of hardship before you get to the point. For me, my hardship haven't comes or i just don't want to admit it. Maybe one day when i get used to stop eating meats and turn into a vegetarians i might even turn into a Nun. HAHAHA

Yea Yea Yea , Nonsense right?

I'm not young anymore. Soon i'll be 22. almost 1/3 of my life had pass. I do wish i can die as early as i can but of course is after my dad.. And best is i'm not married =) So there will be only my close friends there to be cry for me when the receives the bad news. =p

Actually i hope no one ever remember me. This thought does not came in today. It came in many years ago. I was thinking if one day i'm to die, i wish whole world no one remembers me. Not even a single of my pictures left or i disappear from the picture.

Sound Silly i know. Just i don't wanna anyone sad over my death one day~~

Lalala~ I shall end here ba. Don't come tell me : OMG WHAT HAPPENDED??? Relax K?

I'm sure i'm very relax not just not happy. LOL Normal mood only.

Oh Ya.. tomorrow suppse Joseph is meeting my sis.. And suppose he don't wanna meet her alone. And tmorrow i had to work full shift le. So tomorrow he had to meet her alone. Anyway, after the had been on phone for about 6hrs+ Yesterday(09/10/09 12am) i guess after the talk, he's ok or happy to meet her alone without me being extra. LOL As in 3 people actually is weird. I just want to pass my sis things only. May tmorrow is a wonderful day between the both of you.

Blessed

Since today i off, i msn her at 4+ asking whether want meet me and i pass her the stuffs. Well she in Lan now. So had to wait her go home time then meet her and pass her the stuffs. Tomorrow they will be happy fun for sure. Maybe i sound jealous, but i do will bless them =)

All the best for Joseph and Candy.

EH.. If Joseph you got read it ah... Don't worry about anything. Just do what your heart wants. I'll be there to support you and accept anything that happens~ It's not going to hurt me. But it might hurt my sis. I doubt you will read the whole text tho.. So much too read. Which it does not link to your job de stuffs. Bleh~~

Enjoy Your days People~

Thanks for supporting me in reading here~

Thanks to all people who is always by my side to chat with me/Talk cock, craps.

Cheers

Saturday, October 03, 2009

....................................................

Today went to sms some of my sis friends and got her number. So i told Joseph.. And we start to sms her lo.. End of story.

Agent called me too. For 1 job @ tuas... So ok lo. 3mths admin. If shortlisted, start work on monday =)

So 5pm left home and go work lo. And it began to rains. Walk under the small rain~